Helium, News

Heschel Curling Super Fans Devastated

By Jared Levy ‘23, Staff Writer

The esteemed Heschel curling team’s season was canceled due to COVID this month, and fans all around the school are devastated. Undeniably the best team in the Yeshiva League, our Heschel Heat curling team has won an astounding seventeen championships in a row! Preseason festivities are an honored tradition in the Heschel curling community, and fans who had already begun these rituals are trying to cope with the cancellation. 

Senior Maya Beneli reportedly had this year’s roster shaved into her head, and was planning to write an Ode to Curling to be performed in front of thousands at the home opener. In an interview, Beneli said “I’m broken. Heschel without curling? That’s like peanut butter without jelly: incomplete.” She then broke into tears.

Fellow senior Ben Samborik has spent his electives and free time the past few weeks trying to single handedly create a makeshift vaccine for the star players. “Curling is everything to me. I could’ve been the star player, but that wouldn’t have been fair to other teams. I watch my beloved team from the sideline every practice, and I’m willing to devote all my time to make sure we bring home that 18th championship.”

Star player and captain Abbie Orlinsky has been trying to keep spirits high, even with the season cancellation. Orlinsky’s message to fans is “I want to make sure all the Heat curling Team fans know they’re loved and appreciated. These past three seasons have been incredible and I’m sorry it has to end this way. To all my fellow curlers, rock on and stay icy.” According to students in her pod, Captain Orlinsky brings the Golden Curling Cup (The Championship Trophy that is passed from winner to winner each year) to in-person days, to make people smile in the halls.

While this year may be a blank end-a match in which no points have been scored-, training has continued virtually to prepare for the next bonspiel (curling tournament). In order to be eligible for the next season, student athletes have been required to spend at least two hours a day sweeping their house or watching water freeze.

In the words of Captain Orlinsky, “Rock on and stay icy,” fans. Heschel is going to bring the heat to the ice come next season.

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